83. Kiri	Paper 83
Abieluinstitutsioon	The Marriage Institution
83:0.1 (922.1) JÄRGNEV lugu käsitleb abieluinstitutsiooni varaseid algeid. Abieluinstitutsiooni areng on kulgenud kombelõdvast ja valimatust paaritumisest karjas läbi mitmete variatsioonide ja kohanemiste kuni nende abielunormideni, mis kulmineerusid lõpuks paarisabieludes, ühe mehe ja ühe naise liidus kõrgeimasse ühiskonnakorda kuuluva kodu loomiseks.	83:0.1 (922.1) THIS is the recital of the early beginnings of the institution of marriage. It has progressed steadily from the loose and promiscuous matings of the herd through many variations and adaptations, even to the appearance of those marriage standards which eventually culminated in the realization of pair matings, the union of one man and one woman to establish a home of the highest social order.
83:0.2 (922.2) Abielu on olnud korduvalt ohus. Nii omandi- kui ka usutavad on abielukombeid tugevasti toetanud, kuid see tegelik mõjur, mis abielu ja sellest tulenevat perekonda alati kaitseb, on lihtne ja loomupärane bioloogiline tõsiasi, et mehed ja naised ei saa teineteiseta elada, olgu nad kõige primitiivsemad metslased või kultuurseimad surelikud.	83:0.2 (922.2) Marriage has been many times in jeopardy, and the marriage mores have drawn heavily on both property and religion for support; but the real influence which forever safeguards marriage and the resultant family is the simple and innate biologic fact that men and women positively will not live without each other, be they the most primitive savages or the most cultured mortals.
83:0.3 (922.3) Just sugutung ajendab isekat inimest olema loomast parem. Hooliva ja rahuldust pakkuva seksuaalsuhtega kaasneb teatav enesesalgamine, mis kindlustab altruistlike ülesannete ja arvukate rassile kasulike koduste kohustuste võtmise. Selles suhtes on suguelu olnud metslase märkamatu ja aimamatu tsiviliseerija, sest seesama sugutung sunnib inimest automaatselt ja alati mõtlema ning lõpuks juhib armastama.	83:0.3 (922.3) It is because of the sex urge that selfish man is lured into making something better than an animal out of himself. The self-regarding and self-gratifying sex relationship entails the certain consequences of self-denial and insures the assumption of altruistic duties and numerous race-benefiting home responsibilities. Herein has sex been the unrecognized and unsuspected civilizer of the savage; for this same sex impulse automatically and unerringly compels man to think and eventually leads him to love.
1. Abielu kui ühiskondlik institutsioon ^top	1. Marriage as a Societal Institution ^top
83:1.1 (922.4) Abielu on ühiskonna mehhanism, mis peab reguleerima ja kontrolli all hoidma paljusid füüsilisest kahesoolisusest tulenevaid inimsuhteid. See institutsioon, abielu, toimib kahes suunas:	83:1.1 (922.4) Marriage is society’s mechanism designed to regulate and control those many human relations which arise out of the physical fact of bisexuality. As such an institution, marriage functions in two directions:
83:1.2 (922.5) 1. isiklike seksuaalsuhete reguleerijana;	83:1.2 (922.5) 1. In the regulation of personal sex relations.
83:1.3 (922.6) 2. järglaskonna, pärimisõiguse, õigusjärgluse ja ühiskonnakorra reguleerijana, mis on abielu vanem ja esialgsem funktsioon.	83:1.3 (922.6) 2. In the regulation of descent, inheritance, succession, and social order, this being its older and original function.
83:1.4 (922.7) Abielust tekkiv perekond iseenesest koos omanditavadega stabiliseerib abieluinstitutsiooni. Teised abielu stabiilsust kindlustavad tugevad tegurid on uhkus, edevus, rüütellikkus, kohusetunne ja usulised veendumused. Ent vaatamata sellele, kas abielu taevas heaks kiidetakse või mitte, sõlmitakse see vaevalt küll taevas. Inimperekond on selgelt inimlik institutsioon, evolutsiooni tulemus. Abielu on ühiskondlik, mitte kiriklik institutsioon. Religioon peaks, tõsi küll, seda võimsalt mõjutama, kuid ei tohiks võtta endale ainuõigust seda kontrolli all hoida ja reguleerida.	83:1.4 (922.7) The family, which grows out of marriage, is itself a stabilizer of the marriage institution together with the property mores. Other potent factors in marriage stability are pride, vanity, chivalry, duty, and religious convictions. But while marriages may be approved or disapproved on high, they are hardly made in heaven. The human family is a distinctly human institution, an evolutionary development. Marriage is an institution of society, not a department of the church. True, religion should mightily influence it but should not undertake exclusively to control and regulate it.
83:1.5 (922.8) Algeline abielu oli eeskätt tootev, ka nüüdisajal on see sageli ühiskondlik või äriline suhe. Andiidi tüvikonnaga segunemise ja areneva tsivilisatsiooni kommete mõjul muutus abielu aegamööda vastastikuseks, romantiliseks, vanemlikuks, poeetiliseks, kiindumuslikuks, eetiliseks või isegi idealistlikuks suhteks. Ürgsel paariheitmisel oli aga valiku ja niinimetatud romantilise armastusega minimaalne seos. Mees ja naine ei olnud varastel aegadel palju koos, nad isegi ei söönud kuigi sageli ühiselt. Vanaaja inimeste kiindumus ei olnud kuigi tugevasti seotud sugudevahelise külgetõmbega, nad kiindusid teineteisesse suures osas tänu koos elamisele ja töötamisele.	83:1.5 (922.8) Primitive marriage was primarily industrial; and even in modern times it is often a social or business affair. Through the influence of the mixture of the Andite stock and as a result of the mores of advancing civilization, marriage is slowly becoming mutual, romantic, parental, poetical, affectionate, ethical, and even idealistic. Selection and so-called romantic love, however, were at a minimum in primitive mating. During early times husband and wife were not much together; they did not even eat together very often. But among the ancients, personal affection was not strongly linked to sex attraction; they became fond of one another largely because of living and working together.
2. Kosimine ja kihlus ^top	2. Courtship and Betrothal ^top
83:2.1 (923.1) Ürgaja abielud kavandati alati poisi ja tüdruku vanemate poolt. Üleminekuetapil sellelt tavalt vaba valiku aegadele kasutati abieluvahendajaid ehk professionaalseid kosjasobitajaid. Nendeks olid algul habemeajajad, hiljem preestrid. Abielu oli algselt rühma, seejärel perekonna otsustada, isiklik ettevõtmine on sellest saanud alles hiljuti.	83:2.1 (923.1) Primitive marriages were always planned by the parents of the boy and girl. The transition stage between this custom and the times of free choosing was occupied by the marriage broker or professional matchmaker. These matchmakers were at first the barbers; later, the priests. Marriage was originally a group affair; then a family matter; only recently has it become an individual adventure.
83:2.2 (923.2) Ürgsed abielud sõlmiti sunniviisil, mitte külgetõmbe mõjul. Naine ei olnud varastel aegadel suguelu suhtes ükskõikne, kuid ta tunnetas talle kommetega sisendatud soolist alaväärsust. Nii nagu kauplemisele eelnesid röövretked, eelnes lepingulisele abielule vallutusabielu. Mõni naine aitas enda röövimisele kaasa, et pääseda oma hõimu vanemate meeste võimu alt; nad eelistasid langeda teisest hõimust tulnud omavanuste meeste kätte. See valsk põgenemine oli jõuga vallutamise ja hilisema võrgutava kosimise vaheline üleminekuetapp.	83:2.2 (923.2) Coercion, not attraction, was the approach to primitive marriage. In early times woman had no sex aloofness, only sex inferiority as inculcated by the mores. As raiding preceded trading, so marriage by capture preceded marriage by contract. Some women would connive at capture in order to escape the domination of the older men of their tribe; they preferred to fall into the hands of men of their own age from another tribe. This pseudo elopement was the transition stage between capture by force and subsequent courtship by charming.
83:2.3 (923.3) Üks varasemaid pulmatseremooniaid oligi põgenemise matkimine, kunagi levinud teguviisi omamoodi kordus. Hiljem sai pruudiröövi imiteerimisest korrakindel pulmatseremoonia osa. Nüüdisaegse neiu teeseldud vastupanu „vallutamisele” ja häbelik suhtumine abiellu kuuluvad vanade tavade juurde. Pruudi kandmine üle läve meenutab mitmeid iidseid tavasid, mis pärinevad muu hulgas ka naiseröövi aegadest.	83:2.3 (923.3) An early type of wedding ceremony was the mimic flight, a sort of elopement rehearsal which was once a common practice. Later, mock capture became a part of the regular wedding ceremony. A modern girl’s pretensions to resist “capture,” to be reticent toward marriage, are all relics of olden customs. The carrying of the bride over the threshold is reminiscent of a number of ancient practices, among others, of the days of wife stealing.
83:2.4 (923.4) Naisel pole pikka aega olnud täielikku vabadust ise abielupartnerit valida, kuid arukamad naised on alati osanud sellest piirangust oma tarkuse ja kavalusega mööda hiilida. Mees on kosimisel tavaliselt aktiivsem pool olnud, kuid mitte alati. Mõnikord algatab abielu ametlikult või varjatult naine. Tsivilisatsiooni arenedes on naiste roll kõigil kosimise ja abielu etappidel üha kasvanud.	83:2.4 (923.4) Woman was long denied full freedom of self-disposal in marriage, but the more intelligent women have always been able to circumvent this restriction by the clever exercise of their wits. Man has usually taken the lead in courtship, but not always. Woman sometimes formally, as well as covertly, initiates marriage. And as civilization has progressed, women have had an increasing part in all phases of courtship and marriage.
83:2.5 (923.5) Armastuse, romantika ja isikliku valiku tähtsuse kasv abielueelsel kosimisajal on andiitide panus maailma rahvaste heaks. Sugupooltevahelised suhted arenevad soodsalt, paljude edenevate rahvaste seas on kasu- ja omandimotiivid asendumas mõnevõrra idealiseeritud ettekujutusega sugudevahelisest külgetõmbest. Sugutung ja kiindumus on elukaaslase valikul külma kaalutlust välja tõrjumas.	83:2.5 (923.5) Increasing love, romance, and personal selection in premarital courtship are an Andite contribution to the world races. The relations between the sexes are evolving favorably; many advancing peoples are gradually substituting somewhat idealized concepts of sex attraction for those older motives of utility and ownership. Sex impulse and feelings of affection are beginning to displace cold calculation in the choosing of life partners.
83:2.6 (923.6) Kihlus oli algselt abiellumisega samaväärne, varajaste rahvaste seas olid seksuaalsuhted kihluse ajal traditsiooniliselt lubatud. Hilisemal ajal on religioon suguelu kihlumise ja abiellumise vahelisel perioodil tabuks tunnistanud.	83:2.6 (923.6) The betrothal was originally equivalent to marriage; and among early peoples sex relations were conventional during the engagement. In recent times, religion has established a sex taboo on the period between betrothal and marriage.
3. Ostmine ja kaasavara ^top	3. Purchase and Dowry ^top
83:3.1 (923.7) Vanaaja inimesed ei usaldanud armastust ega lubadusi, vaid arvasid, et kestva liidu garanteerib mingi käegakatsutav tagatis, omand. Seetõttu peeti naise ostuhinda pandiks või tagatissummaks, mille mees lahutuse või mahajätmise korral kaotab. Kui pruudi ostuhind oli tasutud, lubati paljudes hõimudes tema nahale mehe märk põletada. Aafriklased ostavad praegugi endale naisi. Armastuse ajel võetud naist ehk valge mehe naist võrdlevad nad kassiga, sest ta ei maksa midagi.	83:3.1 (923.7) The ancients mistrusted love and promises; they thought that abiding unions must be guaranteed by some tangible security, property. For this reason, the purchase price of a wife was regarded as a forfeit or deposit which the husband was doomed to lose in case of divorce or desertion. Once the purchase price of a bride had been paid, many tribes permitted the husband’s brand to be burned upon her. Africans still buy their wives. A love wife, or a white man’s wife, they compare to a cat because she costs nothing.
83:3.2 (924.1) Pruudinäitused olid sündmused, mille puhuks tütred pandi kauneisse rõivastesse ja ehiti, et neid avalikult näidata ning saada nende kui naiste eest kõrgemat hinda. Ent neid ei müüdud kui loomi — hilisemad hõimud ei lubanud abielunaisi edasi müüa. Samuti polnud naise ostmine alati vaid külmavereline rahaline tehing, naist võis omandada ka teene eest. Kui muidu soovitud mees ei suutnud oma naise eest tasuda, võis tütarlapse isa teda endale pojaks võtta, sest siis tohtis ta abielluda. Ja kui vaene mees tahtis naist võtta ega suutnud ahnele isale nõutavat hinda maksta, avaldasid hõimuvanemad sageli isale survet, mille tulemusena ta oma nõudmisi vähendas, sest muidu oleks noor naine võinud põgeneda.	83:3.2 (924.1) The bride shows were occasions for dressing up and decorating daughters for public exhibition with the idea of their bringing higher prices as wives. But they were not sold as animals—among the later tribes such a wife was not transferable. Neither was her purchase always just a cold-blooded money transaction; service was equivalent to cash in the purchase of a wife. If an otherwise desirable man could not pay for his wife, he could be adopted as a son by the girl’s father and then could marry. And if a poor man sought a wife and could not meet the price demanded by a grasping father, the elders would often bring pressure to bear upon the father which would result in a modification of his demands, or else there might be an elopement.
83:3.3 (924.2) Tsivilisatsiooni edenedes ei tahtnud isad enam jätta muljet, et nad müüvad oma tütreid, võttes küll endiselt vastu pruudi ostuhinna, panid nad aluse tavale teha paarile väärtuslikke kingitusi, mis olid ostuhinnaga umbes samaväärsed. Kui hiljem ei pidanud pruudi eest enam maksma, sai neist kingitustest pruudi kaasavara.	83:3.3 (924.2) As civilization progressed, fathers did not like to appear to sell their daughters, and so, while continuing to accept the bride purchase price, they initiated the custom of giving the pair valuable presents which about equaled the purchase money. And upon the later discontinuance of payment for the bride, these presents became the bride’s dowry.
83:3.4 (924.3) Kaasavara mõtteks oli jätta mulje pruudi iseseisvusest; näidata, et orjanaiste ja elukaaslase kui omandi aeg on ammu möödas. Mees ei saanud kaasavaraga naisest enne lahutada, kui oli kogu kaasavara tagasi maksnud. Mõnes hõimus maksid nii pruudi kui ka peigmehe vanemad vastastikku tagatisraha, millest jäädi ilma, kui üks teise maha jättis — see oli tegelikult abielu garantii. Üleminek ostmiselt kaasavarale tähendas ka seda, et kui naine osteti, kuulusid lapsed isale, muudel juhtudel aga naise perekonnale.	83:3.4 (924.3) The idea of a dowry was to convey the impression of the bride’s independence, to suggest far removal from the times of slave wives and property companions. A man could not divorce a dowered wife without paying back the dowry in full. Among some tribes a mutual deposit was made with the parents of both bride and groom to be forfeited in case either deserted the other, in reality a marriage bond. During the period of transition from purchase to dowry, if the wife were purchased, the children belonged to the father; if not, they belonged to the wife’s family.
4. Pulmatseremoonia ^top	4. The Wedding Ceremony ^top
83:4.1 (924.4) Pulmatseremooniad arenesid välja asjaolust, et abielu oli algselt kogukondlik sündmus, mitte ainult kahe inimese vahelise otsuse kulminatsioon. Paariheitmine toimus nii isiklikes kui ka rühma huvides.	83:4.1 (924.4) The wedding ceremony grew out of the fact that marriage was originally a community affair, not just the culmination of a decision of two individuals. Mating was of group concern as well as a personal function.
83:4.2 (924.5) Vanaaja inimeste kogu elu oli ümbritsetud maagiast, rituaalidest ja tseremooniatest ning ka abielu ei olnud selles suhtes erand. Tsivilisatsiooni arenedes, kui abielusse hakati tõsisemalt suhtuma, muutus pulmatseremoonia üha uhkeldavamaks. Varane abiellumine oli nagu tänapäevalgi seotud omandihuvidega ja nõudis seetõttu seaduslikku tseremooniat ning hiljem sündivate laste sotsiaalse staatuse huvides võimalikult laia avalikustamist. Ürginimesel ürikuid ei olnud, seetõttu pidi abiellumistseremoonial olema palju tunnistajaid.	83:4.2 (924.5) Magic, ritual, and ceremony surrounded the entire life of the ancients, and marriage was no exception. As civilization advanced, as marriage became more seriously regarded, the wedding ceremony became increasingly pretentious. Early marriage was a factor in property interests, even as it is today, and therefore required a legal ceremony, while the social status of subsequent children demanded the widest possible publicity. Primitive man had no records; therefore must the marriage ceremony be witnessed by many persons.
83:4.3 (924.6) Algul meenutas pulmatseremoonia rohkem kihlust ja seisnes vaid avalikus teatamises kavatsusest hakata koos elama, hiljem sai see ametlikuks ühiseks söömaajaks. Mõnes hõimus viisid vanemad lihtsalt tütre tema mehe juurde, teistel juhtudel oli ainus tseremoonia ametlik kingituste vahetamine, mille järel pruudi isa andis pruudi peigmehele üle. Paljud Vahemere idaranniku rahvad loobusid igasugustest formaalsustest ja abielu teostus seksuaalsuhte kaudu. Punane inimene oli esimene, kes arendas välja keerulisemad pulmatseremooniad.	83:4.3 (924.6) At first the wedding ceremony was more on the order of a betrothal and consisted only in public notification of intention of living together; later it consisted in formal eating together. Among some tribes the parents simply took their daughter to the husband; in other cases the only ceremony was the formal exchange of presents, after which the bride’s father would present her to the groom. Among many Levantine peoples it was the custom to dispense with all formality, marriage being consummated by sex relations. The red man was the first to develop the more elaborate celebration of weddings.
83:4.4 (924.7) Lastetust kardeti väga ja et viljatuse põhjuseks peeti vaimude vempe, hakati abiellumist seostama ka teatavate maagiliste või usutseremooniatega, mis pidid tagama viljakuse. Õnnelikku ja viljakat abielu püüti kindlustada paljude võluvahenditega, nõu peeti isegi astroloogidega, et määrata kindlaks abielupoolte sünnitähed. Mõnda aega oli jõukate inimeste pulmades tavaliseks kombeks inimohvreid tuua.	83:4.4 (924.7) Childlessness was greatly dreaded, and since barrenness was attributed to spirit machinations, efforts to insure fecundity also led to the association of marriage with certain magical or religious ceremonials. And in this effort to insure a happy and fertile marriage, many charms were employed; even the astrologers were consulted to ascertain the birth stars of the contracting parties. At one time the human sacrifice was a regular feature of all weddings among well-to-do people.
83:4.5 (925.1) Abiellumiseks püüti leida õnnelik päev; kõige soodsamaks pulmapäevaks peeti neljapäeva, kusjuures eriti suurt õnne tõid arvatavalt täiskuu ajal peetud pulmad. Paljudel Lähis-Ida rahvastel oli tavaks puistata pruutpaar üle teradega; see oli maagiline riitus, mis pidi kindlustama viljakuse. Mõned idamaa rahvad kasutasid selleks riisi.	83:4.5 (925.1) Lucky days were sought out, Thursday being most favorably regarded, and weddings celebrated at the full of the moon were thought to be exceptionally fortunate. It was the custom of many Near Eastern peoples to throw grain upon the newlyweds; this was a magical rite which was supposed to insure fecundity. Certain Oriental peoples used rice for this purpose.
83:4.6 (925.2) Tuld ja vett peeti parimateks vahenditeks tontide ja kurjade vaimude vastu, seetõttu kuulusid pulmade juurde altarituled ja süüdatud küünlad, samuti püha vee piserdamine ristimiseks. Pikka aega tavatseti määrata vale pulmapäev ja siis sündmus äkki edasi lükata, et tonte ja vaime eksitada.	83:4.6 (925.2) Fire and water were always considered the best means of resisting ghosts and evil spirits; hence altar fires and lighted candles, as well as the baptismal sprinkling of holy water, were usually in evidence at weddings. For a long time it was customary to set a false wedding day and then suddenly postpone the event so as to put the ghosts and spirits off the track.
83:4.7 (925.3) Pruutpaari narrimine ja kõik mesinädalaid veetvale paarile mängitavad vingerpussid pärinevad neist kaugetest aegadest, mil vaimude nähes peeti paremaks näida õnnetu ja ahistatuna, et mitte neis kadedust tekitada. Ka pruudiloori kandmine pärineb ajast, mil peeti vajalikuks pruuti varjata, et tondid teda ära ei tunneks, ning peita tema ilu vaimude eest, kes muidu kadedaks muutuksid. Pruudi jalad ei tohtinud enne tseremooniat maad puudutada. Ka kahekümnendal sajandil on kristlike kommete järgi ikka veel tavaks, et sõidukiastmest kiriku altarini katab maad vaip.	83:4.7 (925.3) The teasing of newlyweds and the pranks played upon honeymooners are all relics of those far-distant days when it was thought best to appear miserable and ill at ease in the sight of the spirits so as to avoid arousing their envy. The wearing of the bridal veil is a relic of the times when it was considered necessary to disguise the bride so that ghosts might not recognize her and also to hide her beauty from the gaze of the otherwise jealous and envious spirits. The bride’s feet must never touch the ground just prior to the ceremony. Even in the twentieth century it is still the custom under the Christian mores to stretch carpets from the carriage landing to the church altar.
83:4.8 (925.4) Üks iidsemaid pulmatseremooniaid oli lasta preestril pulmavoodit õnnistada, kindlustamaks liidu viljakust, seda tehti ammu enne ametlikke pulmarituaale. Pulmakommete sellel arenguastmel pidid pulmakülalised öösel rivis läbi magamistoa minema, et olla abielu teostumise seaduslikeks tunnistajateks.	83:4.8 (925.4) One of the most ancient forms of the wedding ceremony was to have a priest bless the wedding bed to insure the fertility of the union; this was done long before any formal wedding ritual was established. During this period in the evolution of the marriage mores the wedding guests were expected to file through the bedchamber at night, thus constituting legal witness to the consummation of marriage.
83:4.9 (925.5) Vaatamata kõigile abielueelsetele katsetele mõni abielu siiski ebaõnnestus. See sundis ürginimest otsima ebaõnnestumise vastu kaitset ja juhtis teda preestrite ja maagia juurde. Säärane areng kulmineerus otseselt nüüdisaegsetes kiriklikes laulatustes. Pikka aega oli levinud seisukoht, et abielu seisneb vaid lepingu sõlminud vane-mate — hiljem pruutpaari — kokkuleppes, viimased viissada aastat on aga kirik ja riik võtnud abielu oma jurisdiktsiooni alla ja pidanud enda õiguseks abielu ametlikuks kuulutada.	83:4.9 (925.5) The luck element, that in spite of all premarital tests certain marriages turned out bad, led primitive man to seek insurance protection against marriage failure; led him to go in quest of priests and magic. And this movement culminated directly in modern church weddings. But for a long time marriage was generally recognized as consisting in the decisions of the contracting parents—later of the pair—while for the last five hundred years church and state have assumed jurisdiction and now presume to make pronouncements of marriage.
5. Mitmikabielud ^top	5. Plural Marriages ^top
83:5.1 (925.6) Abielu varases ajaloos kuulusid vallalised naised hõimu meestele. Hiljem oli naisel korraga vaid üks mees. See üks-mees-korraga tava oli karja valimatust suguelust esimene sammuke edasi. Kuigi naisel võis olla suhe vaid ühe mehega, tohtis tema mees niisuguse ajutise suhte soovi korral katkestada. Ent need lõdvalt reguleeritud ühendused olid esimene etapp üleminekul karjaelult paarikaupa elamisele. Abielu sellel etapil kuulusid lapsed tavaliselt emale.	83:5.1 (925.6) In the early history of marriage the unmarried women belonged to the men of the tribe. Later on, a woman had only one husband at a time. This practice of one-man-at-a-time was the first step away from the promiscuity of the herd. While a woman was allowed but one man, her husband could sever such temporary relationships at will. But these loosely regulated associations were the first step toward living pairwise in distinction to living herdwise. In this stage of marriage development children usually belonged to the mother.
83:5.2 (925.7) Järgmine samm paariheitmise arengus oli rühmaabielu. See abielu kogukondlik etapp oli areneva perekonnaelu vaheetapp, sest abielusuhted polnud veel nii tugevad, et paarisuhted oleksid püsivaks muutunud. Sellesse rühma kuulusid ka vendade ja õdede vahelised abielud: ühe pere viis venda abiellus teise pere viie õega. Kogukondliku abielu lõdvemad vormid arenesid kõikjal maailmas järk-järgult erinevat tüüpi rühmaabieludeks. Need rühmaabielud allusid suures osas tootemikommetele. Aegamööda, kuid kindlalt kujunes välja perekonnaelu, sest suguelu- ja abieluseadused, mis kindlustasid laste väiksema suremuse, soodustasid hõimu enda püsimajäämist.	83:5.2 (925.7) The next step in mating evolution was the group marriage. This communal phase of marriage had to intervene in the unfolding of family life because the marriage mores were not yet strong enough to make pair associations permanent. The brother and sister marriages belonged to this group; five brothers of one family would marry five sisters of another. All over the world the looser forms of communal marriage gradually evolved into various types of group marriage. And these group associations were largely regulated by the totem mores. Family life slowly and surely developed because sex and marriage regulation favored the survival of the tribe itself by insuring the survival of larger numbers of children.
83:5.3 (926.1) Arenenumates hõimudes asendusid rühmaabielud järk-järgult uute, tekkivate polügaamiliste tavadega — mitmenaise- ja mitmemehepidamisega. Kuid mitmemehepidamine ei olnud kunagi üldlevinud, vaid piirdus tavaliselt kuningannade ja rikaste naistega; edaspidi olid sellised suhted tavaliselt perekonnasisesed, mitmel vennal oli ühine naine. Kastide ja majanduslike piirangute tõttu pidi mitu meest leppima sageli ühe naisega. Ka sel juhul võis naine abielluda vaid ühe mehega, teisi taluti vaid ühiste järglaste „onudena”.	83:5.3 (926.1) Group marriages gradually gave way before the emerging practices of polygamy—polygyny and polyandry—among the more advanced tribes. But polyandry was never general, being usually limited to queens and rich women; furthermore, it was customarily a family affair, one wife for several brothers. Caste and economic restrictions sometimes made it necessary for several men to content themselves with one wife. Even then, the woman would marry only one, the others being loosely tolerated as “uncles” of the joint progeny.
83:5.4 (926.2) Juudi komme, mis nõudis, et mees elaks koos oma surnud venna lesega ja „oma venna seemet üles kasvataks”, oli vanal ajal levinud enam kui pooles maailmas. See tava pärines ajast, mil abielu oli rohkem perekonnaasi kui üksikisikute ühendus.	83:5.4 (926.2) The Jewish custom requiring that a man consort with his deceased brother’s widow for the purpose of “raising up seed for his brother,” was the custom of more than half the ancient world. This was a relic of the time when marriage was a family affair rather than an individual association.
83:5.5 (926.3) Mitmenaisepidamise institutsioon tunnistas erinevatel aegadel nelja liiki naisi:	83:5.5 (926.3) The institution of polygyny recognized, at various times, four sorts of wives:
83:5.6 (926.4) 1. ametlikud ehk seaduslikud naised;	83:5.6 (926.4) 1. The ceremonial or legal wives.
83:5.7 (926.5) 2. armastusest ja kokkuleppe alusel võetud naised;	83:5.7 (926.5) 2. Wives of affection and permission.
83:5.8 (926.6) 3. kõrvalnaised, lepingulised naised;	83:5.8 (926.6) 3. Concubines, contractual wives.
83:5.9 (926.7) 4. orjanaised.	83:5.9 (926.7) 4. Slave wives.
83:5.10 (926.8) Tõeline mitmenaisepidamine, mille puhul kõigil naistel oli võrdne positsioon ja kõik lapsed olid võrdsed, on olnud väga haruldane. Ka mitmikabielude puhul on olnud põhinaine, ametlik kaaslane, kodus tavaliselt tähtsaim. Rituaalne pulmatseremoonia viidi läbi vaid temaga ja pärimisõigus oli ainult selle ostetud või kaasavaraga naise lastel, kui polnud muud kokkulepet.	83:5.10 (926.8) True polygyny, where all the wives are of equal status and all the children equal, has been very rare. Usually, even with plural marriages, the home was dominated by the head wife, the status companion. She alone had the ritual wedding ceremony, and only the children of such a purchased or dowered spouse could inherit unless by special arrangement with the status wife.
83:5.11 (926.9) Ametlik naine ei tarvitsenud olla armastusest võetud, varastel aegadel ta tavaliselt seda polnudki. Armastatud naine ehk armsam ilmus alles siis, kui rassid olid üsna kaugele arenenud, nimelt pärast arenevate hõimude segunemist nodiitide ja adamiitidega.	83:5.11 (926.9) The status wife was not necessarily the love wife; in early times she usually was not. The love wife, or sweetheart, did not appear until the races were considerably advanced, more particularly after the blending of the evolutionary tribes with the Nodites and Adamites.
83:5.12 (926.10) Tabunaisest, seadusliku positsiooniga naisest, tekkis kõrvalnaiste pidamise komme. Selle järgi tohtis mehel olla ainult üks naine, kuid ta võis olla seksuaalsuhetes ükskõik kui paljude kõrvalnaistega. Kõrvalnaiste etapp oli vaheetapp teel monogaamiale, esimene samm edasi otsesest mitmenaisepidamisest. Juutide, roomlaste ja hiinlaste kõrvalnaised olid väga sageli ametliku naise teenijad. Näiteks juudid pidasid hilisemal ajal seaduslikku naist kõigi tema abikaasa laste emaks.	83:5.12 (926.10) The taboo wife—one wife of legal status—created the concubine mores. Under these mores a man might have only one wife, but he could maintain sex relations with any number of concubines. Concubinage was the steppingstone to monogamy, the first move away from frank polygyny. The concubines of the Jews, Romans, and Chinese were very frequently the handmaidens of the wife. Later on, as among the Jews, the legal wife was looked upon as the mother of all children born to the husband.
83:5.13 (926.11) Mitmenaisepidamisele aitasid suuresti kaasa vanaaja tabud, mis keelasid suguelu raseda või imetava naisega. Ürgaja naised vananesid väga kiiresti, sest sagedastele rasedustele lisandus raske töö. (Need ülekoormatud naised suutsid ellu jääda vaid seetõttu, et ajal, mil nad parajasti rasedad polnud, pidid nad iga kuu ühe nädala isolatsioonis veetma.) Naine väsis sageli laste sünnitamisest ja palus oma meest võtta teine ning noorem naine, kes aitaks nii lapsi sünnitada kui ka koduseid töid teha. Vanemad naised tervitasid seetõttu uusi naisi rõõmuga, midagi sugudevahelise armukadeduse taolist ei tuntud.	83:5.13 (926.11) The olden taboos on sex relations with a pregnant or nursing wife tended greatly to foster polygyny. Primitive women aged very early because of frequent childbearing coupled with hard work. (Such overburdened wives only managed to exist by virtue of the fact that they were put in isolation one week out of each month when they were not heavy with child.) Such a wife often grew tired of bearing children and would request her husband to take a second and younger wife, one able to help with both childbearing and the domestic work. The new wives were therefore usually hailed with delight by the older spouses; there existed nothing on the order of sex jealousy.
83:5.14 (926.12) Naiste arvu peres piiras ainult mehe suutlikkus neid ülal pidada. Rikkad ja võimekad mehed soovisid endale palju lapsi ja et laste suremus oli väga kõrge, vajasid nad suure perekonna loomiseks tervet hulka naisi. Paljud haareminaised olid üksnes töörügajad, orjanaised.	83:5.14 (926.12) The number of wives was only limited by the ability of the man to provide for them. Wealthy and able men wanted large numbers of children, and since the infant mortality was very high, it required an assembly of wives to recruit a large family. Many of these plural wives were mere laborers, slave wives.
83:5.15 (927.1) Inimese tavad arenevad väga aeglaselt. Haaremi eesmärgiks oli moodustada trooni toetuseks tugev ja arvukas veresugulaste hulk. Üks hõimujuht saatis oma haaremi äkki laiali, sest oli veendunud, et ta peaks piirduma vaid ühe naisega. Rahulolematud naised läksid oma kodudesse ja nende solvatud sugulased tormasid juhile kallale ja lõid ta maha.	83:5.15 (927.1) Human customs evolve, but very slowly. The purpose of a harem was to build up a strong and numerous body of blood kin for the support of the throne. A certain chief was once convinced that he should not have a harem, that he should be contented with one wife; so he promptly dismissed his harem. The dissatisfied wives went to their homes, and their offended relatives swept down on the chief in wrath and did away with him then and there.
6. Tõeline monogaamia — paarisabielu ^top	6. True Monogamy—Pair Marriage ^top
83:6.1 (927.2) Monogaamia on monopol; see on hea neile, kes selle soovitud seisundini jõuavad, kuid kaldub tekitama bioloogilisi raskusi neile, kellel ei ole seda õnne olnud. Ent kui jätta arvestamata monogaamia mõju indiviidile, on see laste jaoks kindlasti parim variant.	83:6.1 (927.2) Monogamy is monopoly; it is good for those who attain this desirable state, but it tends to work a biologic hardship on those who are not so fortunate. But quite regardless of the effect on the individual, monogamy is decidedly best for the children.
83:6.2 (927.3) Varaseim monogaamia tekkis asjaolude, vaesuse sunnil. Monogaamia on kultuuriline ja ühiskondlik, kunstlik ja ebaloomulik nähtus — ebaloomulik arenevale inimesele. Puhtamate nodiitide ja adamiitide jaoks oli see täiesti loomulik suhe, samuti on see omanud suurt kultuurilist väärtust kõigi arenenud rasside hulgas.	83:6.2 (927.3) The earliest monogamy was due to force of circumstances, poverty. Monogamy is cultural and societal, artificial and unnatural, that is, unnatural to evolutionary man. It was wholly natural to the purer Nodites and Adamites and has been of great cultural value to all advanced races.
83:6.3 (927.4) Kaldea hõimud tunnistasid naise õigust võtta oma mehelt abielueelne tõotus, et ta ei luba endale teist naist ega kõrvalnaist; nii kreeklased kui ka roomlased eelistasid monogaamset abielu. Esivanemate kummardamine on alati monogaamiat soodustanud nagu ka kristlaste viga pidada abielu sakramendiks. Isegi elatustaseme tõus on rääkinud järjekindlalt mitmenaisepidamise vastu. Miikaeli Urantiale saabumise ajaks oli peaaegu kogu tsiviliseeritud maailm teoreetiliselt monogaamiani jõudnud. Ent passiivne monogaamia ei tähendanud, et inimkond oli tõelist paarisabielu elama harjunud.	83:6.3 (927.4) The Chaldean tribes recognized the right of a wife to impose a premarital pledge upon her spouse not to take a second wife or concubine; both the Greeks and the Romans favored monogamous marriage. Ancestor worship has always fostered monogamy, as has the Christian error of regarding marriage as a sacrament. Even the elevation of the standard of living has consistently militated against plural wives. By the time of Michael’s advent on Urantia practically all of the civilized world had attained the level of theoretical monogamy. But this passive monogamy did not mean that mankind had become habituated to the practice of real pair marriage.
83:6.4 (927.5) Taotledes küll sihina monogaamset, ideaalset paarisabielu, mis on ikkagi omamoodi monopoolne sugupooltevaheline ühendus, ei tohi ühiskond jätta arvestamata nende õnnetute meeste ja naiste mittekadestatavat olukorda, kes ei leia endale selles uues ja täiuslikumas ühiskonnas kohta, kuigi on andnud oma parima, et sellega koostööd teha ja selle nõudeid täita. Suutmatus leida ühiskondlikus konkurentsis paarilist võib tuleneda kehtivate kommete seatud ületamatutest raskustest või arvukatest piirangutest. Tõesti, monogaamia on ideaalne nende jaoks, kes on selleni jõudnud, kuid tekitab paratamatult suuri raskusi neile, kes jäävad külma kätte, üksildast elu elama.	83:6.4 (927.5) While pursuing the monogamic goal of the ideal pair marriage, which is, after all, something of a monopolistic sex association, society must not overlook the unenviable situation of those unfortunate men and women who fail to find a place in this new and improved social order, even when having done their best to co-operate with, and enter into, its requirements. Failure to gain mates in the social arena of competition may be due to insurmountable difficulties or multitudinous restrictions which the current mores have imposed. Truly, monogamy is ideal for those who are in, but it must inevitably work great hardship on those who are left out in the cold of solitary existence.
83:6.5 (927.6) Vähesed õnnetud on alati pidanud kannatama, et enamik saaks areneva tsivilisatsiooni arenevate kommete alusel edasi liikuda, ent eelisolukorras enamus peaks olema alati heatahtlik ja osavõtlik nende vähemõnnelike suhtes, kes maksavad kõrget hinda selle eest, et neil pole õnnestunud pääseda nende ideaalsete seksuaalpartnerite ridadesse, kes võivad areneva ühiskonna kõrgeimate normide loal rahuldada kõiki bioloogilisi tunge.	83:6.5 (927.6) Always have the unfortunate few had to suffer that the majority might advance under the developing mores of evolving civilization; but always should the favored majority look with kindness and consideration on their less fortunate fellows who must pay the price of failure to attain membership in the ranks of those ideal sex partnerships which afford the satisfaction of all biologic urges under the sanction of the highest mores of advancing social evolution.
83:6.6 (927.7) Monogaamia oli, on ja jääb inimese seksuaalse arengu idealistlikuks sihiks. See tõelise paarisabielu ideaal hõlmab enesesalgamist ja seetõttu ebaõnnestubki nii sageli, sest ühel või mõlemal abielupoolel puudub suurim kõigist inimlikest voorustest — karm enesekontroll.	83:6.6 (927.7) Monogamy always has been, now is, and forever will be the idealistic goal of human sex evolution. This ideal of true pair marriage entails self-denial, and therefore does it so often fail just because one or both of the contracting parties are deficient in that acme of all human virtues, rugged self-control.
83:6.7 (927.8) Monogaamia on mõõdupuu, millega mõõdetakse sotsiaalse tsivilisatsiooni edenemist, eristades seda puhtbioloogilisest evolutsioonist. Monogaamia ei tarvitse olla bioloogiline ega loomulik, kuid on vältimatu sotsiaalse tsivilisatsiooni otseseks säilitamiseks ja arenguks. See annab tunnetele delikaatsust, viimistleb kõlblust ja kindlustab vaimse kasvu, mis on polügaamia puhul täiesti võimatu. Naisest ei saa kunagi ideaalset ema, kui ta on pidevalt sunnitud oma mehe armastuse võitmiseks konkureerima.	83:6.7 (927.8) Monogamy is the yardstick which measures the advance of social civilization as distinguished from purely biologic evolution. Monogamy is not necessarily biologic or natural, but it is indispensable to the immediate maintenance and further development of social civilization. It contributes to a delicacy of sentiment, a refinement of moral character, and a spiritual growth which are utterly impossible in polygamy. A woman never can become an ideal mother when she is all the while compelled to engage in rivalry for her husband’s affections.
83:6.8 (928.1) Paarisabielu soodustab ja edendab seda lähedast mõistmist ja tõhusat koostööd, mis on parim vahend vanemate õnneks, lapse heaoluks ja ühiskonna tegusamaks toimimiseks. Toore sunniga alanud abielu areneb järk-järgult suurepäraseks oma kultuuritaseme tõstmist, enesekontrolli ja eneseväljenduse täiustamist ning soojätkamist soodustavaks institutsiooniks.	83:6.8 (928.1) Pair marriage favors and fosters that intimate understanding and effective co-operation which is best for parental happiness, child welfare, and social efficiency. Marriage, which began in crude coercion, is gradually evolving into a magnificent institution of self-culture, self-control, self-expression, and self-perpetuation.
7. Abielu lahutamine ^top	7. The Dissolution of Wedlock ^top
83:7.1 (928.2) Abielukommete varases arengus oli abielu vaba liit, mida sai soovi korral lõpetada, kusjuures lapsed läksid alati emaga kaasa; ema ja lapse vaheline side on instinktiivne ja see on toiminud kommete kõigil arenguastmetel.	83:7.1 (928.2) In the early evolution of the marital mores, marriage was a loose union which could be terminated at will, and the children always followed the mother; the mother-child bond is instinctive and has functioned regardless of the developmental stage of the mores.
83:7.2 (928.3) Ürgrahvaste seas osutusid vaid umbes pooled abielud rahuldavaks. Kõige sagedasem lahkumineku põhjus oli viljatus, milles süüdistati alati naist — usuti, et lastetud naised muutuvad vaimumaailmas maoks. Ürgseimate kommete kohaselt lahutati abielu ainult mehe soovil ja need normid on püsinud mõne rahva seas kahekümnenda sajandini.	83:7.2 (928.3) Among primitive peoples only about one half the marriages proved satisfactory. The most frequent cause for separation was barrenness, which was always blamed on the wife; and childless wives were believed to become snakes in the spirit world. Under the more primitive mores, divorce was had at the option of the man alone, and these standards have persisted to the twentieth century among some peoples.
83:7.3 (928.4) Kommete arenedes kujunes mõnes hõimus kaks abieluvormi: tavaline abielu, mida tohtis lahutada, ja preestri sõlmitud abielu, mida lahutada ei lubatud. Naise ostmine ja kaasavara kasutuselevõtt vähendasid lahkuminekuid suuresti, sest abielu purunemisega kaasnes nüüdsest varaline kahju. See iidne omanditegur aitab tõepoolest ka paljusid praegusi liite stabiliseerida.	83:7.3 (928.4) As the mores evolved, certain tribes developed two forms of marriage: the ordinary, which permitted divorce, and the priest marriage, which did not allow for separation. The inauguration of wife purchase and wife dowry, by introducing a property penalty for marriage failure, did much to lessen separation. And, indeed, many modern unions are stabilized by this ancient property factor.
83:7.4 (928.5) Ühiskondliku positsiooni ja omandiõiguste sotsiaalne surve on alati aidanud abielutabusid ja -kombeid alal hoida. Abielu on ajastute vältel pidevalt edasi arenenud ja tal on nüüdisaegses maailmas kõrge koht, vaatamata sellele, et seda ründab ähvardavalt rahulolematus, mis valitseb nende rahvaste seas, kes omistavad suurt tähtsust isiklikule valikule — uuele vabadusele. Neid kohanemishooge ilmneb edumeelsemate rasside seas ühiskonna järsult kiirenenud evolutsiooni tulemusena, kuid vähem arenenud rahvastel abielu õitseng jätkub ja isegi täiustub aegamööda vanemate kommete toel.	83:7.4 (928.5) The social pressure of community standing and property privileges has always been potent in the maintenance of the marriage taboos and mores. Down through the ages marriage has made steady progress and stands on advanced ground in the modern world, notwithstanding that it is threateningly assailed by widespread dissatisfaction among those peoples where individual choice—a new liberty—figures most largely. While these upheavals of adjustment appear among the more progressive races as a result of suddenly accelerated social evolution, among the less advanced peoples marriage continues to thrive and slowly improve under the guidance of the older mores.
83:7.5 (928.6) Vanema ja ammu juurdunud omandimotiivi uudne ja äkiline asendumine abielus ideaalsema, kuid äärmiselt individualistliku armastusemotiiviga on abieluinstitutsiooni paratamatult ajutiselt destabiliseerinud. Inimese abiellumismotiivid on olnud tegelikust abielumoraalist alati tunduvalt kõrgemad ja üheksateistkümnendal ning kahekümnendal sajandil on õhtumaa abieluideaal enesekesksest ja vaid osaliselt kontrolli all hoitud sugutungist äkki tunduvalt ette jõudnud. Igas ühiskonnas näitab vallaliste suur arv kommete ajutist kokkuvarisemist või üleminekuperioodi.	83:7.5 (928.6) The new and sudden substitution of the more ideal but extremely individualistic love motive in marriage for the older and long-established property motive, has unavoidably caused the marriage institution to become temporarily unstable. Man’s marriage motives have always far transcended actual marriage morals, and in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries the Occidental ideal of marriage has suddenly far outrun the self-centered and but partially controlled sex impulses of the races. The presence of large numbers of unmarried persons in any society indicates the temporary breakdown or the transition of the mores.
83:7.6 (928.7) Abielu tõeliseks proovikiviks on olnud kõigil ajastutel see pidev lähedus, mis on igasuguses perekonnaelus möödapääsematu. Kaks ärahellitatud ja rikutud noort, keda on kasvatatud igale soovile järele andma ning oma eneseuhkust ja egot täielikult rahuldama, võivad vaevalt loota, et nende abielu ja koduloomine eriti õnnestub — tähendab see ju eluaegset ennastsalgavat partnerlust, kompromisse, andumust ja isetut pühendumist lastekasvatamisele.	83:7.6 (928.7) The real test of marriage, all down through the ages, has been that continuous intimacy which is inescapable in all family life. Two pampered and spoiled youths, educated to expect every indulgence and full gratification of vanity and ego, can hardly hope to make a great success of marriage and home building—a lifelong partnership of self-effacement, compromise, devotion, and unselfish dedication to child culture.
83:7.7 (929.1) Nüüdisaegsete õhtumaa rahvaste lahutusi põhjustab üha enam abielueelset armusuhet mõjutav avar kujutlusvõime ja idealistlik romantilisus, mida komplitseerib veelgi naise suurem isiklik vabadus ja majanduslik sõltumatus. Iga lahutus, mis tuleneb enesekontrolli puudumisest või oskamatusest oma isiksust normaalselt kohandada, viib vaid otse tagasi nende algeliste ühiskonnaetappideni, millest inimene on alles hiljuti suure isikliku ängistuse ning rassi kannatuste hinnaga kõrgemale tõusnud.	83:7.7 (929.1) The high degree of imagination and fantastic romance entering into courtship is largely responsible for the increasing divorce tendencies among modern Occidental peoples, all of which is further complicated by woman’s greater personal freedom and increased economic liberty. Easy divorce, when the result of lack of self-control or failure of normal personality adjustment, only leads directly back to those crude societal stages from which man has emerged so recently and as the result of so much personal anguish and racial suffering.
83:7.8 (929.2) Ent senikaua kui ühiskond ei anna lastele ja noortele õiget haridust, senikaua kui ühiskonnakord ei näe ette küllaldast abielueelset koolitust ja kuni abiellu astumisel jääb otsustajaks noorte rumal ja ebaküps idealism, jäävad lahutused veel valdavaks. Kui ühiskonnarühm ei suuda kindlustada noorte ettevalmistamist abieluks, peab lahutus toimima ühiskonna kaitseventiilina, mis hoiab arenevate kommete kiire kasvu ajajärkudel ära veelgi halvemad olukorrad.	83:7.8 (929.2) But just so long as society fails to properly educate children and youths, so long as the social order fails to provide adequate premarital training, and so long as unwise and immature youthful idealism is to be the arbiter of the entrance upon marriage, just so long will divorce remain prevalent. And in so far as the social group falls short of providing marriage preparation for youths, to that extent must divorce function as the social safety valve which prevents still worse situations during the ages of the rapid growth of the evolving mores.
83:7.9 (929.3) Näib, et vanaaja inimesed võtsid abielu peaaegu niisama tõsiselt kui mõned praegused rahvad. Ja ei paista, et paljud kiirustades sõlmitud ning ebaõnnestunud tänapäeva abielud oleksid suurt paremad iidsetest tavadest, mis andsid noortele meestele ja naistele õiguse paari heita. Nüüdisühiskonna tohutu ebajärjekindlus seisneb selles, et armastust ülistatakse ja abielu idealiseeritakse, kuid mõlema põhjalikku uurimist ei kiideta heaks.	83:7.9 (929.3) The ancients seem to have regarded marriage just about as seriously as some present-day people do. And it does not appear that many of the hasty and unsuccessful marriages of modern times are much of an improvement over the ancient practices of qualifying young men and women for mating. The great inconsistency of modern society is to exalt love and to idealize marriage while disapproving of the fullest examination of both.
8. Abielu idealiseerimine ^top	8. The Idealization of Marriage ^top
83:8.1 (929.4) Koduga kulmineeruv abielu on tõepoolest inimese ülevaim institutsioon, kuid see on sisuliselt inimomane — seda ei oleks kunagi tohtinud sakramendiks nimetada. Setiidi preestrid tegid abiellumisest usurituaali, ent pärast Eedenit püsis paariheitmine tuhandeid aastaid puhtühiskondliku tsiviilinstitutsioonina.	83:8.1 (929.4) Marriage which culminates in the home is indeed man’s most exalted institution, but it is essentially human; it should never have been called a sacrament. The Sethite priests made marriage a religious ritual; but for thousands of years after Eden, mating continued as a purely social and civil institution.
83:8.2 (929.5) Inimühenduste võrdlemine jumalike ühendustega on väga ebaõnnestunud. Mehe ja naise liit abieluks ning kodu loomiseks on arenevate maailmade surelike aineline funktsioon. Mehe ja naise siirad inimlikud pingutused edenemiseks võivad, tõsi küll, vaimset progressi üsna palju edasi viia, kuid see ei tähenda, nagu oleks abielu tingimata püha. Vaimse edenemise toob inimese siiras edasipüüd muudel tegevusaladel.	83:8.2 (929.5) The likening of human associations to divine associations is most unfortunate. The union of husband and wife in the marriage-home relationship is a material function of the mortals of the evolutionary worlds. True, indeed, much spiritual progress may accrue consequent upon the sincere human efforts of husband and wife to progress, but this does not mean that marriage is necessarily sacred. Spiritual progress is attendant upon sincere application to other avenues of human endeavor.
83:8.3 (929.6) Abielu ei saa päriselt võrrelda ka Kohandaja ja inimese vahelise suhtega ega Kristus Miikaeli ja tema inimestest vendade vendlusega. Need suhted on vaevalt küll millegi poolest võrreldavad naise ja mehe ühendusega. On väga kahetsusväärne, et inimeste väär ettekujutus neist suhetest on tekitanud abielu staatuse osas nii palju segadust.	83:8.3 (929.6) Neither can marriage be truly compared to the relation of the Adjuster to man nor to the fraternity of Christ Michael and his human brethren. At scarcely any point are such relationships comparable to the association of husband and wife. And it is most unfortunate that the human misconception of these relationships has produced so much confusion as to the status of marriage.
83:8.4 (929.7) Samuti on kahetsusväärne teatud surelike rühmade seisukoht, et abielu sõlmitakse jumaliku teoga. Need uskumused viivad otseselt sellele, et abielusuhet peetakse lahutamatuks, olenemata olukorrast või poolte soovist. Kuid juba abielu lahutamise fakt iseenesest näitab, et Jumalus ei osale selle liidu ühendamises. Kui Jumal on kord kaks asja või isikut ühendanud, jäävad nad kokku seniks, kuni Jumal käsib nad lahutada. Ent abielu on iniminstitutsioon ja kes peaks otsustama ja ütlema, missuguse abielu võiksid universumi kõrged juhendajad heaks kiita ja missugune liit on oma loomult ning päritolult siiski puhtinimlik.	83:8.4 (929.7) It is also unfortunate that certain groups of mortals have conceived of marriage as being consummated by divine action. Such beliefs lead directly to the concept of the indissolubility of the marital state regardless of the circumstances or wishes of the contracting parties. But the very fact of marriage dissolution itself indicates that Deity is not a conjoining party to such unions. If God has once joined any two things or persons together, they will remain thus joined until such a time as the divine will decrees their separation. But, regarding marriage, which is a human institution, who shall presume to sit in judgment, to say which marriages are unions that might be approved by the universe supervisors in contrast with those which are purely human in nature and origin?
83:8.5 (930.1) Ometi on kõrgetel sfääridel abieluideaal olemas. Iga kohaliku süsteemi keskusmaailmas esindavad Jumala Ainelised Pojad ja Tütred oma abielusidemetega järglaste sigitamise ja kasvatamise eesmärgil loodud mehe ja naise liidu kõrgeimat ideaali. Ideaalne surelik abielu on siiski inimlikult püha.	83:8.5 (930.1) Nevertheless, there is an ideal of marriage on the spheres on high. On the capital of each local system the Material Sons and Daughters of God do portray the height of the ideals of the union of man and woman in the bonds of marriage and for the purpose of procreating and rearing offspring. After all, the ideal mortal marriage is humanly sacred.
83:8.6 (930.2) Abielu oli ja on praegugi inimese ülim unistus ajalikust ideaalist. Kuigi see kaunis unistus nii harva täielikult täitub, püsib ta kauni unistusena, mis meelitab edenevat inimkonda alati veelgi suuremat inimlikku õnne püüdma. Ent noortele meestele ja naistele tuleks õpetada midagi ka abielu tegelikkusest, enne kui nad satuvad vastamisi perekonnaelu rangete nõudmistega; noorusideaale tuleks kainestada illusioonide mõningase abielueelse hajutamisega.	83:8.6 (930.2) Marriage always has been and still is man’s supreme dream of temporal ideality. Though this beautiful dream is seldom realized in its entirety, it endures as a glorious ideal, ever luring progressing mankind on to greater strivings for human happiness. But young men and women should be taught something of the realities of marriage before they are plunged into the exacting demands of the interassociations of family life; youthful idealization should be tempered with some degree of premarital disillusionment.
83:8.7 (930.3) Abielu idealiseerimist noorte poolt ei tohiks aga maha suruda, nendes unistustes sisaldub nägemus perekonnaelu tulevasest sihist. See suhtumine on ühtaegu nii stimuleeriv kui ka kasulik, kui ei tekita ükskõiksust abielu ja hilisema perekonnaelu praktiliste ja igapäevaste nõuete täitmise vastu.	83:8.7 (930.3) The youthful idealization of marriage should not, however, be discouraged; such dreams are the visualization of the future goal of family life. This attitude is both stimulating and helpful providing it does not produce an insensitivity to the realization of the practical and commonplace requirements of marriage and subsequent family life.
83:8.8 (930.4) Abieluideaalid on viimasel ajal palju edasi liikunud, mõne rahva seas on naisel oma elukaaslasega peaaegu võrdsed õigused. Perekond on saamas — vähemalt põhimõtteliselt — ustavaks partnerlussuhteks järglaste kasvatamise eesmärgil, millega kaasneb seksuaalne truudus. Ent ka see abielu uuem variant ei tarvitse jõuda nii kaugele äärmusesse, et annab abikaasadele vastastikuse monopoolse õiguse teineteise kogu isiksusele ja isikupärale. Abielu ei ole vaid individualistlik ideaal, see on mehe ja naise arenev sotsiaalne partnerlus, mis eksisteerib ja toimib praeguste kommete järgi, piiratuna tabudest ja alludes ühiskonna seadustele ja -korrale.	83:8.8 (930.4) The ideals of marriage have made great progress in recent times; among some peoples woman enjoys practically equal rights with her consort. In concept, at least, the family is becoming a loyal partnership for rearing offspring, accompanied by sexual fidelity. But even this newer version of marriage need not presume to swing so far to the extreme as to confer mutual monopoly of all personality and individuality. Marriage is not just an individualistic ideal; it is the evolving social partnership of a man and a woman, existing and functioning under the current mores, restricted by the taboos, and enforced by the laws and regulations of society.
83:8.9 (930.5) Kahekümnenda sajandi abielud on varasemate ajajärkudega võrreldes kõrgemal tasemel, vaatamata sellele, et kodu institutsioon on praegu tõsiselt proovile pandud probleemide tõttu, mida on ühiskonnakorraldusele tekitanud nii ootamatult ja tormakalt naisele antud vabadused — õigused, mis talle varasemate põlvkondade kommete pikaldase arengu käigus nii kaua keelatud olid.	83:8.9 (930.5) Twentieth-century marriages stand high in comparison with those of past ages, notwithstanding that the home institution is now undergoing a serious testing because of the problems so suddenly thrust upon the social organization by the precipitate augmentation of woman’s liberties, rights so long denied her in the tardy evolution of the mores of past generations.
83:8.10 (930.6) [Esitanud Urantiale määratud seeravite juht.]	83:8.10 (930.6) [Presented by the Chief of Seraphim stationed on Urantia.]